This is KNOT going as planned

Number 48 on my new bucket list, "Learn to Crochet"....  Number 28, "Spend TIME Wisely", so like any good "resolutioner" on January 3rd I decided to be productive during a re-run of the Sopranos and take up crocheting.  I was well prepared.  I had purchased both a beginning knitting and beginning crocheting kit in early spring and put it away for a cold winters night.  After looking at the gadgets and clips in the the knitting kit I decided crocheting may be the safer place to start.  So with hook and yarn ball in hand I opened the illustrations.  First knot.  After turning the book around a few times I finally got it looped onto the hook then came the weaving the yarn around my fingers and pinching with my thumb and forefinger.  What in the world?  After several tries of looking at the hands in my illustrations I decided maybe I was more of a virtual learner. 

Never fear I grabbed my Kindle Fire and found a YouTube video for the VERY BEGINNING CROCHETER.  A natural looking gal in a crocheted vest in front of a wood rail fence welcomed me to the video, that must be where the keep the sheep for the wool I thought to myself.  Then impatience set in, "come on lady I don't have all day to learn to crochet, lets start knotting so I can whip out some crafty dog sweaters by Valentine's Day!" In her soft, slow voice she went on to explain the size hook I needed and the proper yarn weight to begin with, she even suggested a medium color.  "Crap" I thought mine is DARK red, but I consider myself an artistic soul so I should be fine with a more advanced color, right?  OK finally, to putting yarn and hook together on the video and close up shots of hands wrapping the medium weight, medium color 100% Acrylic yarn around her finger to make the beginning slip knot.  Oh, I thought so much easier watching it in 3 dimensions.  Then came the chain stitch OK wrapped around the fingers pinching the knot then over and under and WAIT,  HOW,  where do I push on this screen to pause this video?  And how do I do it while I'm attempting to crochet?

Needless to say after several starts and stops I finally made my first loop. (You have got to be kidding me!)  Now only 21 more she states and quickly chains a row.  So onward I go 19, 20, 21!  Awkward and all thumbs I had conquered the chain, I held it up proudly and discovered my row was not at all as consistent has hers but I mean she did look like she had been crocheting from birth. So, the next step go through the existing loop, over and under and then over two loops.  My aptitude with object perception has always scored off the charts, so I thought to myself AW HA I can see how this pot holder is going down.  But wait lady what if your loops are so tight you can't get the metal thingy..needle, no the hook, that's it the hook through the loop?  (Stop, Pause, Resume)  With my will power giving me a pep talk and with one quick discouraging pull my 21 chain was back to a lonely yarn strand and I was ready to try again and again and again.  On try FIVE my cat jumped in my lap batted the yarn ball to the floor and the clock chimed 10 and I saw a brief glimpse of my pride as it went up the chimney. 

I'd like to tell you my dog is well on his way to being highly fashioned in warm sweaters for the winter and I'd be setting up an Etsy account for the overflow. I would like to even say I have a new sad looking pot holder to hide in the the kitchen drawer... but as of today I have a ball of 100% Acrylic Dark Red Yarn with a hook sitting in a basket and a NEW respect for that awful plastic doll with the bright green & white crocheted hat and dress that hid my Grandmother's extra roll of toilet paper.  BUT it's January so I won't give up.  There will be plenty more cold winter's nights to give it a try and maybe, just maybe when I have conquered that hot pad I can move on to bigger things.