Has anyone seen my zen in the pantry?

Keeping up on my bucket list this weekend I thought I would do a little preparation for #12, "Live a Healthier Lifestyle".  Without much weekend plans I felt Saturday was a good time to grocery shop and clean out the pantry and since I do like to multi task I decided to take my husband and dog along for the ride (#9 Spend more quality time with Friends & Family.) Unlike a lot of people I really don't mind the occasional cleaning and re-organizing of the pantry.  Growing up in a house with dual parents who believed in the theory "there is a place for everything, and everything has its place", I have a keen sense of satisfaction and achievement when everything is neatly packed away.  In fact packing items into tight spaces may possibly be the #42 on my list "Be the BEST at something".   My husband still recalls on a July afternoon in the early ninety's when I once drew an audience as I packed a week of camping and fishing gear and three children into a Jeep Wagoneer.

I have a gem of a hubby, he marvels and gloats at my spatial gifts.  He also works from home  which means he plans and executes meals most week nights and doesn't mind the occasional trip to the grocery store to be my assistant for the pick, pack and lug.   So after a short trip to the dog park we embarked on conquering the grocery bulk store on a mid Saturday winter afternoon. 

When shopping to restock the pantry I always prefer the off brand store, not only does it save my family money but more importantly with less brand choices it takes less TIME.  Don't get me wrong I love a summer stroll through the Gourmet Market trying new things and swooning at the 100+ choices in the mustard section.  As well as I am the first to revolt when there is any talk of personal uniformity because I like to consider myself one of a kind but when I'm shopping for staples the less choice the less time, so if having a choice for canned corn means whole kernel or creamed I'm all for it.

This particular thrifty mart really cuts to the chase where will power is concerned, because as soon as you step foot in the store you're smack in the midst of the cookie, candy, salty snack and booze section, (yes all in one isle).  So after dodging a set of 5 year old twins with one very bewildered father waiting, (in oncoming cart traffic, was he trying to off himself?),  for the Mom to come inside and tell them what to do, where to go and and to be the bearer of tough love and I'm sure three dozen "No's" on that isle alone, I was ready to shop. My plan was to walk swiftly to the next isle as to not make eye contact with the temptations. My husbands plan however was to marvel over the German Chocolate selection, so after commandeering my cart from one of the 5 year olds  and  setting self limits to one bag of sweets and two bottles of cheap wine we were soon zipping through the isles.

I am a born shopper but grocery shopping packs its irritations for me.  First, there is my co-shopper, the one that blocks the entire isle with their cart then stands in front of the shelves for an eternity gazing at the applesauce assortment like the choice between cinnamon or traditional holds the key to eternal happiness, (did I mention they were on their cell phone too), and then there is the repetitive packing.  Pack the cart with groceries, unpack them onto the conveyor belt, pack them back into the cart, pack them into bags, pack them to the car, pack them into the house and finally pack them into the pantry.   That's a lot of packs before the polk gets to the pantry! 

But atlas we were finally home and ready to start putting away.  My husband and I celebrated our 17th wedding Anniversary last April so we've been through a few grocery store drills.  His job is to help carry in the groceries, barricade the door from the cat's escape, make sure the trash can is ready for the recycled packaging that comes along with today's shopping and to stay out of the way. It's harsh I know and it begins back in the store where I insist that the groceries come out of the cart and onto the conveyor in a specific order and then bagged in a specific sequence so they can be easily identified as to fridge, freezer, pantry bag when they are unloaded.  Ah, to love me is to love my OCD! 

But finally we were to the part that makes it all worth it.   Now I know it should be sitting down to  a good wholesome meal around the table with my family (and that will come with time) but living in the moment the real WIN is in the organizing of the cupboards.  Favorite childhood memories of visiting the hardware store where every nut, bolt and washer had its place come flooding back as I strategically begin placing the cans proudly bearing their generic labels all front and center.  Rows organized by vegetable, fruit and legume begin to take form.  As I unload bag upon bag and watch my husbands bewilderment of "will it all fit" I strategically and skillfully complete my masterpiece.  With every last morsel packed away I can finally stand back and congratulate myself for a job well done.  But then as a I hear a voice from the living room asking whats for dinner my dreams are shattered.  And I think of  the stock boy who spends his night loading and facing the shelves to only be greeted by an early morning weather alert.  And my own empire is once again incomplete as I grab a can of Chicken Stock from the back of the pantry to begin dinner.

Oh my friends but this is the new me and I have my ears and eyes open in search of my own inner peace.  So, my lesson learned for this New Year ahead... life is a lot like the pantry.  It doesn't do you any good to keep it closed up and dark, instead make wise choices and keep it well stocked with variety and healthy choices.  Be creative with its ingredients.  Change and depletion and replenishment are all part of the process.  Remember that there will be some days you just have to stop, reorganize and take out the garbage.  And even though a small part of you may feel as if it is a waste to throw something out before it is fully consumed you will know in your heart when it is time to let it go for better things.  And always make time to share its contents with friends, family and even strangers for its mere ingredients are not its true treasure but the memories and nourishment it holds. 

This is KNOT going as planned

Number 48 on my new bucket list, "Learn to Crochet"....  Number 28, "Spend TIME Wisely", so like any good "resolutioner" on January 3rd I decided to be productive during a re-run of the Sopranos and take up crocheting.  I was well prepared.  I had purchased both a beginning knitting and beginning crocheting kit in early spring and put it away for a cold winters night.  After looking at the gadgets and clips in the the knitting kit I decided crocheting may be the safer place to start.  So with hook and yarn ball in hand I opened the illustrations.  First knot.  After turning the book around a few times I finally got it looped onto the hook then came the weaving the yarn around my fingers and pinching with my thumb and forefinger.  What in the world?  After several tries of looking at the hands in my illustrations I decided maybe I was more of a virtual learner. 

Never fear I grabbed my Kindle Fire and found a YouTube video for the VERY BEGINNING CROCHETER.  A natural looking gal in a crocheted vest in front of a wood rail fence welcomed me to the video, that must be where the keep the sheep for the wool I thought to myself.  Then impatience set in, "come on lady I don't have all day to learn to crochet, lets start knotting so I can whip out some crafty dog sweaters by Valentine's Day!" In her soft, slow voice she went on to explain the size hook I needed and the proper yarn weight to begin with, she even suggested a medium color.  "Crap" I thought mine is DARK red, but I consider myself an artistic soul so I should be fine with a more advanced color, right?  OK finally, to putting yarn and hook together on the video and close up shots of hands wrapping the medium weight, medium color 100% Acrylic yarn around her finger to make the beginning slip knot.  Oh, I thought so much easier watching it in 3 dimensions.  Then came the chain stitch OK wrapped around the fingers pinching the knot then over and under and WAIT,  HOW,  where do I push on this screen to pause this video?  And how do I do it while I'm attempting to crochet?

Needless to say after several starts and stops I finally made my first loop. (You have got to be kidding me!)  Now only 21 more she states and quickly chains a row.  So onward I go 19, 20, 21!  Awkward and all thumbs I had conquered the chain, I held it up proudly and discovered my row was not at all as consistent has hers but I mean she did look like she had been crocheting from birth. So, the next step go through the existing loop, over and under and then over two loops.  My aptitude with object perception has always scored off the charts, so I thought to myself AW HA I can see how this pot holder is going down.  But wait lady what if your loops are so tight you can't get the metal thingy..needle, no the hook, that's it the hook through the loop?  (Stop, Pause, Resume)  With my will power giving me a pep talk and with one quick discouraging pull my 21 chain was back to a lonely yarn strand and I was ready to try again and again and again.  On try FIVE my cat jumped in my lap batted the yarn ball to the floor and the clock chimed 10 and I saw a brief glimpse of my pride as it went up the chimney. 

I'd like to tell you my dog is well on his way to being highly fashioned in warm sweaters for the winter and I'd be setting up an Etsy account for the overflow. I would like to even say I have a new sad looking pot holder to hide in the the kitchen drawer... but as of today I have a ball of 100% Acrylic Dark Red Yarn with a hook sitting in a basket and a NEW respect for that awful plastic doll with the bright green & white crocheted hat and dress that hid my Grandmother's extra roll of toilet paper.  BUT it's January so I won't give up.  There will be plenty more cold winter's nights to give it a try and maybe, just maybe when I have conquered that hot pad I can move on to bigger things.

The page perfect me

Several years ago I sat down and wrote the following items I have kept  year after year in my day planner.  I revisit them either by purpose or chance frequently but especially at the beginning of each new year to check and see if I am on track or if I need to change the tracks.  I wish I could say I live them all daily, but I don't.  Sometimes not even close.  However, they are reminders of the person I want to be  and I'm working on it day by day!

My Motto:  Life without passion is simply existence.

My Mission:  (the short version) Be exceptional!  Today is a gift.  Live for tomorrow by promoting creativity, passion and purpose in yourself and others.

(the long version) Be true to yourself; love openly; give freely; live each day with joy and enthusiasm.  Awaken each morning with greatness and purpose promoting thought, creativity, and excellence in yourself and others so that you may leave a legacy of hope and compassion in the hearts and minds of those you meet along life's journey.

And finally 15 simple questions I try to ask myself at the end of each day.

Did you Today...

• Give thanks to God?
• Give praise to your family, friends and colleagues?
• Live healthier?
• Drink water?
• Spend money or save money?
• Learn something new?
• Be friendly and talkative to people?
• Accomplish things productively?
• Listen?
• Solve Problems or create them?
• Face problems & change with optimism & openness?
• Smile?
• Laugh?
• Love?
• Succeed in fulfilling your goals?

A Brand New Bucket

Dreams, Goals, Bucket Lists...no matter what you call them it seems like the New Year gets us thinking about where we want to go and the time we wasted not getting there the past year.  I will have to be the first to admit the 2012 was not a stellar year for me personally.  It wasn't terrible.  Some good things happened. I am thankful, that for the most part, my family and friends found love, health, happiness and employment a constant throughout the year.  For Jim and I our biggest achievement would be adopting our new found LOVE a Schnauzer named Fritz.  He has brought many smiles and warm fuzzies to our house since he was adopted in February and I look forward to us all growing old together.

But in hindsight if I had to look back and title 2012...well it just kind of felt like SURVIVAL and for 2013 I want MORE.  Somewhere along the way, about early summer, I lost sight of my balance and never fully recovered it.  I spent days in a funk and some how settled for mediocre.  Feeling most days like I was giving just enough to go through the motions, not escaping responsibilities but not going above and beyond in my own achievements and well just plain letting some areas ride like the wind!  If I had to pick a metaphor it would be the pace car, (OK maybe a pace car with one of those temporary donut tires beating out an imbalanced rhythm of ka-thump, ka-thump, ka-thump) ...not IDEAL, not EXCITING, not fully LIVING!

So onward and upward as they say.  2013 gives us a blank slate to start anew.  A 365 page book just waiting to be written. So, as I begin working on putting my goals on paper I thought I would start with the bucket list.  I'm going to call this my Mid Life Bucket List because I hope that my bucket will be emptied and filled many times in the years to come.  They are a long way from SMART GOALS just the crib notes for me to further explore the Specific, Measurable, Achievable,  Realistic, and Timeliness of this very personal list.  Many will not be a walk in the park (although that is on the list.)  Some will be obtained in 2013 and others will take longer to plan, save, digest and work up the courage to achieve.  But the VERY first step towards any goal is to DREAM it, second is to WRITE it and third is to SHARE it.  So here they go.....

 

  1) Be FEARLESS
  2) WORRY less
  3) Find time to PLAY
  4) Send Thank You notes
  5) Take long walks
  6) Learn the art of meditation or at least the art of being STILL with myself
  7) Be spiritual
  8) Volunteer and be named to a board
  9) Spend more quality time with Friends & Family
10) Meet new Friends
11) Re-kindle the love and clarity for my career, or is there another passion calling
12) LIVE a healthier lifestyle
13) GIVE more with time, money and kindness
14) Make someone SMILE everyday
15) Pay for a Pet adoption on Valentine's Day (give a gift of unconditional love)
16) Be CREATIVE everyday
17) Illustrate Jim's poem the Sparrow and the Cricket and publish
18) Plan a trip to Europe
19) Take a long road trip
20) SWIM
21) Walk a 5k then Run a 5k
22) Be Confident in actions and achievements
23) Build my Network
24) Find those 5 friends in my life that will be honest & tell me what I need to hear
25) Create a piece of art to be sold at auction
26) Re-Decorate
27) Write
28) Spend TIME wisely
29) Wear a fancy dress and accept an award
30) Kiss under the stars on NYE
31) Learn a new language
32) Take more photos
33) Find a program to reduce weight or explore GB surgery
34) Reduce Debt (and its burden of worry, see #2)
35) Be better...(wife, mom, daughter, sister, boss, friend...)
36) Make a pie from scratch
37) Tell someone you admire them and why
38) Go Fast
39) Slow Down
40) Sing and Dance with confidence
41) Find time to practice the skills you want to most achieve
42) Be the BEST at something
43) Visit a place I have never been
44) Talk to strangers
45) Read the classics
46) Don't judge (unless it's a contest)
47) Design a piece of fashion from start to completion
48) Learn to crochet
49) Teach a class
50) Be a leader
51) Embrace change
52) Keep adding to my bucket list

There it is... to borrow a few words from EE Cummins "here it is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life.." More precise my life!   I would love to hear what's on your list for 2013.  Please comment, advise, cheer and join me where you see fit. As I work closer through some of the details and as I hit some highs and lows I will check in on this blog.  And a Happy New Year to YOU...remember the FUTURE is Yours... now go get it!