I attended my Uncle Bill's Memorial Service and Funeral last Friday. He was my Mother's Brother, the oldest sibling of six. My Uncle Bill (or Will or Willy as I remember him being referred to as a child) was a no nonsense type of guy. Born in the depression he was a hard worker and expected the same from others. To say he tinkered with engines would be an understatement and he had a love for automobiles, motorcycles, traveling the continental United States and most of all his family. He was the type of man that when he spoke you listened, not because he was loud and boisterous but because you knew that the wisdom he shared was worth taking note. I realize that sometimes when a family member is always there in the background you take them for granted and I know I will miss his knowledge, stories and the gleam in his eye when he smiled.
I am very fortunate to come from a large family, one parent with five siblings and another with eight always meant for a large extended family and plenty of Aunts, Uncles and cousins. And although there is much love on both sides of my family my Mother's side was always spent more time together. I think in part this was in root by what I call Rebecca's Rule.
Rebecca, (my Maternal Grandmother), served Sunday Dinner and when the dinner bell rang (literally if family members were out in the pastures) you better be around the table. As a child going to my Grandma and Grandpa's house every week was routine, one that I didn't realize some families didn't participate in, but the 40 mile trip, (that seemed like hours as a child), was always more then just a dinner gathering. During the Spring, Summer and Fall as dinner was being prepared I would run and play outdoors with a swarms of cousins. After the meal this group would parade behind my Grandma, an Uncle or an Aunt as they worked in the garden, orchard, with the many farm animals or on the machinery. During the winter we all gathered in my Grandparents small farmhouse with the wood stove blazing. Hand made sewing patterns, making and pulling taffy, popping popcorn and playing cards or puzzles...there was always activity and more importantly someone to explain the "what" and the "why" to inquiring children's minds and more often than not giving all those hands (from teen to toddler) a shot at the experience.
As an adult I have often stopped to think about those treasured Sundays and all the gifts and lessons that came along with them. The photos playing at my Uncle's Memorial Service warmed my heart with the past. My Grandmother and Grandfather passed away many years ago but my Mother's siblings have remained close. And although they do not meet at the table every week they do make it a point to all gather together at a minimum of once a month for Birthdays and to just celebrate one another. I have to admit I don't make it to near enough of these events and the loss of a loved one is a simple reminder of the real priorities in my life. As I was visiting after my Uncles service someone made a very profound statement that helped me put in real perspective this SPECIAL and irreplaceable gift of a large loving extended family. An extended family member himself, he told me that he was always envious of my Mother's siblings and the tight bond they held with with one another. He continued to say that he always has and will continue to feel honored that they allow him in to the inner circle of their love. His perspective was a touching sentiment to the close bond of my family.
I will remember my Uncle as a honest and hard working family man, well respected in the community he was born and raised. He lived his life through hard work but never forgot to take a moment to be thankful. At peace with himself and God he found spirituallity in working with his hands and driving through beautiful landscapes. Will's way, much like my Grandmother Rebecca's, was understated; quiet, sometimes stern and the expression of love often came in simple gestures instead of kisses, hugs or words, but I know it was there and I will carry it in my own heart with the blessing of knowing he is a part of my lineage. Today I am thankful for family both living and deceased the valuable lesson for now in knowing what coming from a "privileged family" really means.
