I'm struggling with something this morning. I know that my expectations are higher than
most so I can sometimes be critical (both of myself and others). It is something I work on DAILY, but I feel like
someone else’s work ethics are compromising the reputation of mine and I am not
sure if it is something I can continue to allow to go on. It really pushes my buttons so I have to step back from it so I won't end up on an episode of SNAPPED. I tried to digest it and come up with a plan last evening but as soon as I step back into the mix my emotions are ELEVATED so I haven't confronted the problem yet because I know it is something I need to self-regulate and be in control when I approach.
I'm the type of person that when I accept a challenge I vow to do the best of my ability and strive for perfection. Am I always perfect, NO. Do I fail sometimes, YES! But what I do know is that in my failure is a chance to stand back and access the situation and try to learn from the mistake. I dissect it to pieces, analyzing it until I know what I should of done and what I will do in the future not to make the same mistake. I'm not naïve, I know not everyone has this quality. And part of me wants to think its okay if not everyone has this quality because they have some GREAT qualities that I don't possess or strive to achieve. But there is another part of me that SHOUTS "Why do you even want to begin a project if A-you're not going to strive to do your best and B-if you aren't going to try to learn from your mistakes."
Please understand this is not the first or second time these results have occurred due to this persons actions. And to be honest I'm not sure if it is from a lack of caring or from a true lack of time & project management skills. What I do know is to me it is INSANITY! Albert Einstein's definition of Insanity is: "doing the same think over and over again and expecting different results." So I know some of you might me thinking why do you care about the other persons actions? How is this affecting you? And maybe I should take more of the I don't care approach but it's just not me...It's not how I'm wired.
I believe that when you work in an environment you are a team and your team is only as good as the weakest player. We've all played team sports before and we all know some people are gifted with natural skills more than others. We've all seen players work really hard to be mediocre but we also have encountered those players who don't even want to try. So we ask why are they on the team? What satisfaction does it give them? You may even question the coach, why are you allowing this person on the team? Why are you allowing them to project their performance onto mine? Why are you allowing them to waste my time?
But in blogging (and venting) this situation it all comes down to one sentence at the top of my page. "I am not sure if it is something I can continue to allow to go on." I have to realize I am not a VICTIM in this situation. I am a player. A player that wants to be an ALL STAR or at the very least mediocre through the hard work and effort of trying to do my best. So I have to look at those that excel, those that have failed and found another route. What did they do?
Like the brightest athletes they allow themselves to be drafted, they trade teams, they become free agents. But where do I begin? Did Cal Ripken or Ted Williams ever have second thoughts about staying on the same team throughout their careers?
So many questions to ponder. Directions I long to have magically appear clearly and quickly but I know this will take some time and thought. Life's journey isn't on mapquest and all the turns aren't pre determined (and wouldn't it be so boring if it was), so instead I will end with some words from Cal Ripken, "They said we'll never get this game going if you don't run around the field,....I said I didn't have the energy to make it. They said, 'Then walk."" I know every small step I take will lead me in the right direction. Now I'm off to seize the day!
