Monday, June 12, 2017

Don't Underestimate Dad Style



As we celebrate Dad’s this weekend I took a few moments to think about my own Dad’s sense of style.  My Father was born in the early thirties the youngest son of a rural farmer.  I do not have much to draw on his early childhood the few photos I have seen give me the impression that staples were slim and family was everything. Photos alongside his eight siblings all stair stepped in size.  Boys in denim overalls and work shoes, which no doubt were passed down as one boy outgrew what became their standard uniforms.  Girls in light cotton dresses my Grandmother had unmistakably sewn with her signature adornments of embroidery. 

The few glimpses into my Father’s childhood through photos even become less available into his teenage years.   Defiant slicked back hair, t shirts, jeans and fast cars is the most suitable hypothesis.  Like many boys of my Father’s era he found his way into the service when he finally reached the age of enlistment.  With a sharp uniform and a little money in his pocket for leave my Dad’s sense of style became clear.  Young and handsome, it would be easy to see how my Mother was swept away by his dashing movie star persona, but in truth it was his more sensitive side and beautiful hand written letters we would learn that really stole her heart. 


As the youngest of my three siblings my Father had long turned in his Naval Uniform for Dickes work wear and khaki’s, madras and suede Hush Puppy shoes for the weekend.   A hard worker he liked to buy the best he could afford and take care of those items.  From clothing, to automobiles, devoted consumable brands to home furnishings once he found a style he liked he would seldom falter. 


As a child I was the iconic “Daddy’s Girl”.  My childhood memories of my Dad were looking up into his deep brown eyes that were outlined by laugh lines.  Hearing his deep and infectious laugh and holding his callused hand that I knew was there to provide and protect me at all times.  When he came in after a long day of working on a job site or after fighting a fire as a Volunteer he would immediately wash up with Lava Soap in our tiny utility bathroom.  Later, he would retreat to the tub and return smelling of Right Guard Deodorant, Safeguard Soap and Groom n Clean hair balm. 

Along with his wardrobe staples I also knew exactly what he would be wearing or carrying as accessories.  A simple gold wedding band never left his hand along with a Timex Watch.  He carried with him a handkerchief, a wood grained pocket knife,  brown leather wallet stuffed with photos and receipts and small notebook in his shirt pocket where he would write himself reminders. 
Working in the heat and elements a majority of his life respite time for him was for the most part spent indoors.  Of course he had the iconic John Deere riding mower and Coleman Grill and he didn’t hesitate to take me fishing or Umpire my little league game but I know his real enjoyment after a hard day was raising his
feet in his Lazy Boy recliner tuning into the evening news
on his Zenith TV and sipping on Lipton Sweet Tea.

As my Mother and Father were respectfully equal managers in our home they would make joint decisions on the furnishings and coverings of the household.  Their purchases were of traditional style built to hold up in a family environment.  If anything our parents maintained and taught their children to take care of items to a fault that my Mother usually grew tired of her surroundings long before they were fully worn out.  Some of the simple rules that helped with that maintenance were no toys in our bedrooms.  Food was consumed only in the kitchen (or dining room if we had company).  Drinks were always on coasters and absolutely no shoes in the house.  I even recall one of my favorite Birthday Parties were held in our single car garage.  As a child I thought this was just for a cool factor but as an adult I understand it was really more of a save the carpet move on my parents part.  As I’ve grown older or wiser I have come to appreciate my Dad’s rule to buy the best you can afford and maintain it but it’s not without my own life lessons and poor purchases,  



This Father’s Day marks the 19th Anniversary of my Father’s death.  I feel he was taken way too soon, but then again is there ever a time where we are ready to say goodbye?  Cancer may have taken his signature slicked back pompadour but it couldn’t take away his iconic style. I have a few reminders of my childhood home scattered through my own home, even today my parents choices of quality purchases and exemplary care make them available for our everyday use.  And one of my prized possessions is a quilt my Mother commissioned after my Dad’s death.  It happily keeps the memories of my Dad’s many plaid shirts at my fingertips.  So, as a reminder I may stop and reminisce when, on a rare occasion, a man pulls a handkerchief from his pocket or a Dean Martin song hits my iTunes.  Madmen episodes bring back memories of pouring bourbon and coke in a gold rimmed glass or the excitement of a new fancy automobile being brought home for Mom.


Today, we have so many more  choices in the way of fashion and home décor it can sometimes be hard to define our own style.  I personally still stand behind the old adage that if you have had good luck with a brand then they deserve your patronage.  Do we ever really stop and think of the people behind the shops and the brands?  As part of a small business I may be more sensitive to that fact then most.  There are plenty of stores in our community that I have frequented since I was a child, where now second and third generation store owners are investing in our community and helping us define our own sense of style and brand loyalty. Childhood memories of these establishments were that my parents knew the names of the store owners and clerks and they in return knew theirs. I'm happy to say we live in a town where sometimes that can still happen, but our world is much bigger now and we read in the news almost nightly of chain stores closing and the retail shopping experience becoming extinct. In reflecting on my own Father's style I can only ponder at the hardworking fathers who built these stores from the ground up and wonder what defined their style and what was the story behind their brand?   If you are a Father then embrace your own style, own it, because you never know what impression you are making on your children.  Happy Father's Day! 

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

What's your word?


With the Christmas decorations neatly tucked away and the New Year rang in, it's that time of year to sit down with a blank sheet and list out this year’s business and personal goals, prioritize and implement.  What is it about the first of the year that brings us to resolve to change for the better, when we have the power to begin any other day?  This echoes the favorite Chinese Proverb of one of my mentors, “The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago.  The second best time is now.”


As I was chatting with a friend over the weekend she boldly told me she quit resolutions, instead she said I pick a word that encompasses the change I want to make for the coming year.  This was an intriguing idea so I set out to do a little more research. With so many words out there how do you find your one?  The entire process reminded me of a scene from the movie Eat, Pray Love, where Liz struggles to find her “word”.  As she announces her word is writer her friends are quick to explain that writer is what she does not who she is, so she resolves to be without a word.  Fast Forward toward the end of the movie she reflects on a word she learned in italian when she first hears it she proclaims it is the perfect Italian word with all the romance and zest the language has to offer but as she looks at her life from where she once was to where she has traveled she decides that  Attraversiamo, the Italian word meaning to cross over is in fact her word.   


Wow,  what a beautiful, exotic, impactful word!  Could I borrow this word?  No, I needed my own word so I spent the rest of the day jotting down ones in my journal. Onward, transformation, ahead, foundation, purpose, inclusive, planned, assurance, prospicience.  They were all really good words but not the right word.  I even did a Google Search and came up with a tip to open a book and see what words appear to you but I decided to persevere through my own thought process. (Persevere...that’s a good word.)


Then finally as I drove home on a mostly abandoned highway (were we the only one working on January 2nd) through the dense fog my word appeared.  It seemed so clear that it was a perfect fit.   


So what is my word for 2017?  Kinetic!  Kinetic comes from the Greek word kinētikos, meaning "of motion, which in turn traces to the verb kinein, meaning "to move."  In physics kinetic is defined as the energy an object possesses due to its motion or the work needed to move any mass from resting to a state of velocity.

kinetic

play




And this is right where I want to be for 2017, moving forward. Looking at my goal list in one word it encompasses the two pages I brainstormed for both my business and personal life.  In hindsight,  the end of 2016 has left me feeling extremely sluggish and bored with slow movement of my life’s progress.  


The beginning of 2016 brought with it a wonderful opportunity to be a part of the class of 2016 Leadership Columbia.  A tremendous experience that not only gave me much time to learn about myself but also our community, while building a strong network of new friends.  This new experience was exciting and made me feel a bigger part of the community or in a sense grounded.  2016 also brought with it time to rest and reflect from the emotional roller coaster of 2015.  To bring closure to my Mother’s passing to pack away sort and sell her life’s belongings.  To relish in the  immense gratitude of Bentley being a healthy, happy boy.  To smile at Andy’s continued growth and humor and to watch Miss Hallie develop and welcome her way in the world and finally to bring back friends who were so very close yet we had let slip so far away.    Yes, “grounded” was the word of 2016, a time to be sensible and have a good understanding of what was important.


What am I looking forward to in 2017?  Life moving forward.  Watching my children and their children continue to flourish.  Visiting friends, family and new places.  Continuing progress in my career and setting a path for our company to grow.  Watching Jim’s new career path unfold.  Making new friends and stronger connections, learning and leading as the Chair of Women’s Network.  


Although, my personality may never be as bold, perky or pizzazzy as some I admire I am resolved to become more active, cheerful and spirited in 2017 and focus on what is ahead of me.  And remind myself that the things you do either give you energy or drain you, so I must choose wisely and keep moving forward.


Onward and upward to 2017 friends! -Shel