Have you ever awoken from a dream and felt like it was some type of sign that needed decoding? While I'm not a Dream Interpreter or a Psychologist I am a specialist on ME so if I’m stirred from a dream worthy of remembering I usually try to figure out my message.
My dreams can range from comical to scary. Sometimes I am involved in them and other times it as if I am watching from the sidelines. I've even watched it play out as a TV sitcom with credits rolling at the end. My dreams are usually filled with people I know although they often take on different physical characteristics. I usually dream in the past or the present but rarely in the future. (And so I judge my dreams as not ideal.) Many times loved ones I have lost will visit me in my dreams and give me advice or encouragement.
I have had two reoccurring dreams in my lifetime. When I was a child I would often have the reoccurring dream that my parents weren't home and there was a knock on the door. I knew not to answer it but when I looked out the window it was Superman… So I answered it...and he robbed us. I blame my dislike of Superheroes and many of my trust issues on this dream. (sad face)
My second reoccurring dream, which I still have, takes place back in college with me waking up to realize I am late for a final, but furthermore in horror I understand this final is for a class that I have forgotten to attend ALL semester. While this dream could be interpreted as a regret that I was not a more disciplined student, I find myself having this dream when my life is very busy and stressful, so I attribute it more as a signal to my body and mind to take a deep breath and slow down.
Currently, I am reading the book A Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For?, by Rick Warren. I've started and stopped reading this book numerous times but decided I would be open-minded and push through with the daily readings. It seems the older I get the more I seek out knowledge on this “BIG” question "What am I here for?" picking up countless books and thumbing through them in search for the answer, while my subconscious knows the answer does not lie within the pages of any book but instead within myself.
But back to the purpose of this blog, because that subject will come in small steps not the AHA occurrence that I long to awaken me. The dream.
In my dream I was napping outdoors under a warm blue sky and there were two kites tethered to my childhood home. One was a small kite and the other was a much larger elaborate kite. As I lay there, with my husband beside me in deep slumber, I kept an eye on the kites watching them move. A large gust of wind came up and I realized the kites had worked free from where they were secured. A part of me wanted to jump up and grab them while the strings were still in reach but I did not want to disturb my sleeping husband, so I watched as the wind grew stronger and their dance became bolder as they soared high into the air. Soon the kite's strings found outreaching limbs and became tangled within the branches. The larger kite was caught up in a tree that was close to where I lay and it was low enough I could reach up and grab the limb and save it. The smaller one was high in a tree that outstretched over a busy highway and there would be no way of saving it.
At first I was very sad I had lost the small kite but then I felt the need to find a way to cut the string so it would not end up just dangling in the tree, wind torn, trash of a day gone by. I wanted to let it soar, to see how high it could reach. Sure, I knew it would come down eventually but the possibility of how far it would go was exciting and I also had the larger kite to retrieve for another day of playfulness, so what was the harm in letting it go?
The dream brought me back to a safe place. During my childhood I loved playing in our yard among the trees and I'm sure at some time in my youth a kite or two had been lost to one of the stately elms. Ironically enough, on my commute to work today I heard a public announcement for trees. John Goodman urging us to plant trees as it makes kids healthier and happier. On a side note: has society really come to needing this message spelled out on the radio? But back to my dream and my trees.
The smaller of the trees, which caught the smaller kite, in my youth was a boundary to the busy road and the steep ditch in our yard and the other was a massive tree that dwarfed our house and I often heard my parents discussing the fear of the damage it could do and the hefty price tag that would come along when it came time to cut it down.
Maybe these trees were coming into my thoughts because of a recent conversation I had with my Mom. It was when she had come home from rehabilitation and before she decided she needed to spend some time recuperating at my sisters. She was looking out the window, no doubtingly thinking of the past and still trying to fit the puzzle together of what thoughts had become scrambled into past and present. In her first days after the stroke she spent many cherished hours telling me stories of both my childhood and hers. As she recalled the "big tree" she told me the story of it coming down in the yard.
After I had moved away many of the trees in our yard developed a sickness and one by one they were taken down. My Dad had struck a deal with a couple of novas tree trimmers to remove the tree for the tremendous amount of firewood it would produce. My Mom recalled they were eating dinner as the men were working on getting the trunk down and my Dad began getting nervous for the safety of the men and the house. So he decided to go out and supervise. My Father at this time was in the far stages of his cancer and even though his appearance was not that of a brawny man I'm sure the message to the workers was sturdy in nature. Strong enough that they decided to take his advice and change the path the tree would fall. All in all the tree came down without harm to bodies or structure and all that is left is the memory of its once grand stature.
Memories… could that be a piece of the puzzle to my "BIG" question? But atlas, I was awoken by my feline alarm demanding breakfast and left to ponder the meaning of this strange, vivid, literal (?) dream. So as I went upon my morning routine I began dissecting. First, the reality...the window was open so I'm sure there was a breeze blowing through the bedroom as I began to awake to a new day beside my still sleeping husband. Second, the nostalgia, the dream no doubtingly took place at my childhood home. The house my Mother still owns, and the house we wonder day by day if she will ever make it back to independently reside, however the trees in the yard were the ones of my childhood they have not stood in the yard for many years.
Finally, the analysis, were these kites a sign? And if so what was it trying to tell me? A number of things came to mind: to let small things go; that I didn't have to hold onto everything; that it is ok to soar but sometimes the "little" things get you further then the "big" ones; not to let anything hold you back from your dreams. Or was it not about the kites at all and more about the trees? (Sigh) Maybe I’m not as great at this interpretation as I thought!
But the dream gave me much to contemplate today and a reason to write. Although it didn’t give me a clear answer to all my life’s questions it did give me optimism to pull out my goal list and shake off the dust. To check off those goals that have gone unrecognized to mark off those that just aren’t that important anymore and to always keep adding to the list. Today I will be adding: lying on the ground and looking up at the sky in child like wonder; flying a kite (and letting it go); and planting a tree for the betterment of a child’s imagination. What will you do today to keep your dreams alive?
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