A letter to my Grandson

January 6, 2014

Dear Baby A-

 You came into our world today.  It was one of the coldest days in history and I’m pretty sure you weren’t quite ready yet but you’re here and we all could not be more excited!  I was so incredibly moved by how much love your Mommy and Daddy showed for one another before you arrived and I know how very lucky you are that they are going to share all that love with you now too.

 

 You had a HUGE cheering section of Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and cousins waiting for you to arrive.  Always know how truly blessed you are to have so many people who love you.  I’m sure there will be times when it feels like we are smothering you with kisses and hugs or questions when you’re older, you may think we are all being ridiculously nosey or bossy it is always only because we love and care for you so much.

 

It was a long day today and at times we were all a little frightened so we said some prayers and they were all answered, you will always be in our prayers. When Papa and I finally got to see you for the very first time Daddy was there holding your hand, he wouldn’t let it go and I think you better get use to it because he is always going to be there to protect and root you on.  I’m so blessed to have gotten to see when Mommy held you in her arms for the very first time she smiled so big that I knew you had just stolen her heart. 

 

It’s a big world out there you will learn much along life's journey but I thought I would just give you a few pointers that I have learned along the way and hope that if you ever have a day that you need reassuring or direction maybe you can rely on some of the wisdom I’ve gathered…

 

1)   Your FAMILY will always be your biggest FANS.  When you are little you will love and need us but there will come a day when you feel independent and you may want to distant yourself a bit, this is normal but know that we will still be here when you need us.  And you will.  And we will still be here to cheer you on just like the day you came into this world. 

2)   Always BE OPTIMISTIC.  Laugh and play and never take yourself too seriously but there will be times when you are sad.  It’s OK to cry when you are sad (even if you are a boy) but once you have cried promise to look past the thing that is making you sad and think of all the blessings in your life.

3)   RESPECT & HELP others. Don’t be mean or a bully and always stand up for those people and creatures that can’t do it for themselves.  If you look hard enough you can find the good in everyone and thing. 

4)   DO YOUR BEST.  You may not always come in first place and that’s OK as long as you in your heart know that you have done the very best that you can do.  Never settle for less then your best.

5)   Choose your WORDS carefully, one of the most dangerous weapons can be language.  Once you’ve said something you can’t take it back so think before you speak in haste or anger and always ask for forgiveness if you say words you don’t mean.

6)   FAIRNESS.  There are always two sides to every story don’t judge someone without knowing both sides.  And remember when someone gossips to you about someone else they would do the same about you so choose your friends well as their reflection becomes your character.

7)   Be HONEST.  Nothing good ever comes of a lie.  One lie will build to many and soon you will feel buried under a mountain so always tell the truth, but know there is a difference between the truth and good manners and don’t get them confused.

8)   DREAM.  Have an imagination and think about what you could do if you were unstoppable and then find a way to do it.  Find your creativity and passion and share it with others this will make your heart full and your life complete. 

9)   GIVE.  You will be blessed and although you may not always have the most I believe in my heart you will always have enough.  Remember there are others out there with less and be willing to share.

10)  LOVE.  Don’t ever be afraid to show love,  Sometimes you may mistake it and your heart may feel broken but know that it is strong.  When and if your heart breaks know that all of ours will be breaking too but it is better to LOVE and to have lost then to never LOVE at all, for it is the very best gift of all.  It makes the world a better place.

Anderson, I would like to say my greatest wish for you would be a PERFECT world but part of me thinks how BORING that would be.  Life is about choosing paths and then being able to retrace and take another, it is about the journey not the finish.  So I will be honest and say it won’t always be perfect but I do wish for you that the happy days out weigh the sad and for you to always know how very, very, very much you are LOVED!

 

I love you forever and then some…

Gma Shel

 

The Summer Bucket List

I've always been deadline driven and love a wide variation of types of items on my to do list.  This spring I had a big work goal to accomplish.  I put in a lot of extra hours and worked hard to make happen and it felt wonderful to cross the finish line. Except, now that it has come and gone I feel like my wheels are spinning in no particular direction and smaller deadlines seem to not have the same adrenaline rush as those from spring.    
I'm not sure where this listlessness and de-motivation came creeping in but I just seem tired and that I am running on two speeds either (happy) and turbo charged or (meh) and snail pace.  Signs of burn out and a much needed few days off...probably so.  I find myself on the morning commute being envious of strangers as I round the corner and see the free spirits in the park for their morning strolls, or see the latest twitter feed of someone hanging by the pool.  I'm not naïve though and I know most of these people have just, if not busier, lives then I do the difference is they are making these items priorities. So it's time I give myself a deadline and make a ME list of items I don't want to pass up without taking time to do this summer.

 

The Summer Bucket list (in random order)

• Long walks in the Park
• Read a book, without feeling guilty or falling asleep
• Clean out my closet to purge items that are way past any resemblance of style
• Bury my toes in the sand
• Organize the Craft Closet
• Paint (on canvas not a home improvement project, although I don't mind that either)
• Have a long lunch with my Mom
•  Drink coffee on the deck and watch the birds play
• Laugh with my kids
• Get a Tan
• Spend quality time with my family
• Have the option of sleeping in, (if I want to, probably wont happen but it is so nice to have the choice & amazing how easy it is to get up early when it's your free time at stake)
• Swim in the Lake
• Get a pedicure
• Eat a Snow cone
• Watch the sunset with my fella
• Fix a meal (kudos to my hubby for always having it on the table)
• Visit an old friend
• Go shopping in the city

There it is, a simple list, now I have to go get the (beach) ball rolling I have a deadline to meet!

Every Dog has his day

I clicked on an article today entitled 8 Affectionate Dog Breeds, (http://shine.yahoo.com/pets/8-affectionate-dog-breeds-173400607.html?.tsrc=yahoo?_device=full), and  #8 was a Shelter Dog and I thought to myself how many of us have entered a shelter looking to give a pet a good home and in hindsight know our pets are thinking "I saved a human today."

It was a little over a year ago that I found myself walking into the Central Missouri Humane Society with my husband.  It had been almost two years since our Beagle Buddy had quickly passed away and I had uttered the words, (of a cat person), "I will never have another dog." But I knew in my heart the best gift I could give my husband for Valentine's Day was the companionship of a faithful pooch. 

Now, I must say I don't usually advocate animals as gifts because they are a commitment of time, money and love that you need to think about before jumping in with both feet, but I had did my research and had been searching the CMHS site for months looking for dogs that would be a good fit.  My husband is self employed so he spends a lot of time at home in his office so we knew we wanted a dog breed that was loyal, loving and entertaining but also one that would be quick to learn commands and liked to travel so he could ride along with my husband.  A few months before we thought we had found a good candidate, but we hadn't had the "DOG" talk yet.    My husband had been in and signed all the documents so he could socialize with the pets but before he could pull the trigger the dog had found his fur-ever home.  Something I must commend our local Humane Society for because all though the intake number at a shelter is sad and staggering they do a phenomenal job at finding them new homes.*

So, after months of searching finally there he was on the website I had found the perfect dog a little white Schnauzer and it was Valentine's week to boot.  Casually, as we were out and about running errands,  I asked my husband if he would mind going by the kennel just to look at the animals.    With great anticipation, (OK not too much since he was in the 2nd run), we both found ourselves across from the a cute miniature Schnauzer, code name Scooter.  He greeted us with a big happy jump and a yelp but we soon saw the sign on the kennel saying "NOT FOR ADOPTION".  Our hearts sank as we learned from the staff that Scooter was no longer adoptable because he was being picked up by a rescue organization. 

We were back to square one.  Saturday, is a busy day at the kennel and I know the animals must feel the anticipation and pressure of  the continuous popularity contest. (All my grade school fears of the play ground team choosing came rushing back.) As Sarah Mclachlan's "Answer" melody and sad pet eyes rushed quickly through my head, I decided that most of these animals were clearly instructed by the volunteers to sit up front, don't growl and look CUTE! 

As we made our way through the runs we came across some candidates.  A cute beagle...but we wanted a change.  A bouncy puppy...we're too old! A pair of adorable miniature terrier-mixes... but they were bonded and I was questioning if we needed one new dog there was no way our aging cats at home would tolerate two!  Then we came to an enclosure with the most pitiful pup you have ever seen, hair matted, curled in a ball on his make shift bed and not making eye contact with anyone.  His place card read:  Tokyo, Male, 2 years, Black & Brown Terrier/Schnauzer Mix. 

There was something about his state of depression that tore at our hearts and we asked if we could take him out on the leash.  The shelter worker was so happy she entered his cage gave him a little pep talk and escorted us out to a fenced in area so we could get to know one another.  I let me husband make the first moves, the truth be known I am frightened by strange dogs and I know they can sense it.  My husband picked him up and talked to him walked around with him but the dog simply walked away and went to the gate staring out at the parking lot as if he was waiting to be picked up. (My Heart was Breaking) We returned inside the Shelter and decided we would leave and discuss the adoption over lunch.

I think both our minds were made up to take a chance on this lonesome little guy or we would of never found ourselves eating lunch next to the pet store.  Before we had finished our burgers we had settled on the name of "Fritz" (his formal name of course would be Frederick Eduardo Beaverhausen III) and went next door to purchase a red and black checkered dog sweater...yes we were going to be those type of dog owners.

Back to the shelter we quickly went before they closed.  The volunteer was delighted to see us back in front of his cage trying to coax him to us but he was still not budging,  as I asked if we could go into the kennel one more time before we made our decision she brought in reinforcements who told us of his trip to the shelter and that although he seemed to have a chip on his shoulder that was a characteristic of Schnauzers and he would re socialize with us if we took him home.  I was a little doubtful as a I looked at the only uneaten bowl of food in the Shelter and tried to make eye contact once again with this scraggly mutt.  As I bent over there was a glimpse of hope as he rolled over to show me his belly.  My necklace hung down a little to far and he began biting at it, my husband saw my concern and quickly came to the dogs defense that he was playing not attacking. We signed the papers and were to pick him up on Monday after his "procedure". 

Since day one and through his 1st Fur-ever Anniversary FRITZ has been nothing but a bundle of fun and joy.  He is an affectionate, comical, protective, intelligent addition to our family. Although boisterous and a little bit of a noisy neighbor he is so much love in one non-shedding bundle.   He makes us exercise when we may not feel up to it, go to bed when we may think of staying up later and most of all laugh at ourselves and him when we may be taking life to seriously. The quote comes to mind, "I wish I was half the person my Dog thinks I am."    I know our friends, family (and most of all the cats) think back on a time when we didn't bore them with cute Dog stories and pictures but it's too late he has stolen our hearts.  And don't let the cats tell you anything different...they love him too. 

*A quick foot note that cute dog my husband almost adopted we see some Saturday's with his joyful owner at the dog park.  If you are looking for a new pet I urge you to do your research and check your local Shelter and Rescue Services in your area but most of all be a respectable and responsible pet owner and your love will be returned in so many ways!



Wills Way and Rebecca's Rules

 

I attended my Uncle Bill's Memorial Service and Funeral last Friday.  He was my Mother's Brother, the oldest sibling of six.  My Uncle Bill (or Will or Willy as I remember him being referred to as a child) was a no nonsense type of guy.  Born in the depression he was a hard worker and expected the same from others.  To say he tinkered with engines would be an understatement and he had a love for automobiles, motorcycles, traveling the continental United States and most of all his family.  He was the type of man that when he spoke you listened, not because he was loud and boisterous but because you knew that the wisdom he shared was worth taking note.  I realize that sometimes when a family member is always there in the background you take them for granted and I know I will miss his knowledge, stories and the gleam in his eye when he smiled.

I am very fortunate to come from a large family, one parent with five siblings and another with eight always meant for a large extended family and plenty of Aunts, Uncles and cousins.  And although there is much love on both sides of my family my Mother's side was always spent more time together. I think in part this was in root by what I call Rebecca's Rule. 

Rebecca, (my Maternal Grandmother), served Sunday Dinner and when the dinner bell rang (literally if family members were out in the pastures) you better be around the table.  As a child going to my Grandma and Grandpa's house every week was routine, one that I didn't realize some families didn't participate in, but the 40 mile trip, (that seemed like hours as a child), was always more then just a dinner gathering.  During the Spring, Summer and Fall as dinner was being prepared I would run and play outdoors with a swarms of cousins. After the meal this group would parade behind my Grandma, an Uncle or an Aunt as they worked in the garden, orchard, with the many farm animals or on the machinery.    During the winter we all gathered in my Grandparents small farmhouse with the wood stove blazing.  Hand made sewing patterns, making and pulling taffy, popping popcorn and playing cards or puzzles...there was always activity and more importantly someone to explain the "what" and the "why" to inquiring children's minds and more often than not giving all those hands (from teen to toddler) a shot at the experience.

As an adult I have often stopped to think about those treasured Sundays and all the gifts and lessons that came along with them.  The photos playing at my Uncle's Memorial Service warmed my heart with the past.  My Grandmother and Grandfather passed away many years ago but my Mother's siblings have remained close.  And although they do not meet at the table every week they do make it a point to all gather together at a minimum of once a month for Birthdays and to just celebrate one another.  I have to admit I don't make it to near enough of these events and the loss of a loved one is a simple reminder of the real priorities in my life.  As I was visiting after my Uncles service someone made a very profound statement that helped me put in real perspective this SPECIAL and irreplaceable gift of a large loving extended family.  An extended family member himself, he told me that he was always envious of my Mother's siblings and the tight bond they held with with one another.  He continued to say that he always has and will continue to feel honored that they allow him in to the inner circle of their love.  His perspective was a touching sentiment to the close bond of my family.

I will remember my Uncle as a honest and hard working family man, well respected in the community he was born and raised.  He lived his life through hard work but never forgot to take a moment to be thankful.  At peace with himself and God he found spirituallity in working with his hands and driving through beautiful landscapes.  Will's way, much like my Grandmother Rebecca's, was understated;  quiet, sometimes stern and the expression of love often came in simple gestures instead of kisses, hugs or words, but I know it was there and I will carry it in my own heart with the blessing of knowing he is a part of my lineage. Today I am thankful for family both living and deceased the valuable lesson for now in knowing what coming from a "privileged family" really means.   

Has anyone seen my zen in the pantry?

Keeping up on my bucket list this weekend I thought I would do a little preparation for #12, "Live a Healthier Lifestyle".  Without much weekend plans I felt Saturday was a good time to grocery shop and clean out the pantry and since I do like to multi task I decided to take my husband and dog along for the ride (#9 Spend more quality time with Friends & Family.) Unlike a lot of people I really don't mind the occasional cleaning and re-organizing of the pantry.  Growing up in a house with dual parents who believed in the theory "there is a place for everything, and everything has its place", I have a keen sense of satisfaction and achievement when everything is neatly packed away.  In fact packing items into tight spaces may possibly be the #42 on my list "Be the BEST at something".   My husband still recalls on a July afternoon in the early ninety's when I once drew an audience as I packed a week of camping and fishing gear and three children into a Jeep Wagoneer.

I have a gem of a hubby, he marvels and gloats at my spatial gifts.  He also works from home  which means he plans and executes meals most week nights and doesn't mind the occasional trip to the grocery store to be my assistant for the pick, pack and lug.   So after a short trip to the dog park we embarked on conquering the grocery bulk store on a mid Saturday winter afternoon. 

When shopping to restock the pantry I always prefer the off brand store, not only does it save my family money but more importantly with less brand choices it takes less TIME.  Don't get me wrong I love a summer stroll through the Gourmet Market trying new things and swooning at the 100+ choices in the mustard section.  As well as I am the first to revolt when there is any talk of personal uniformity because I like to consider myself one of a kind but when I'm shopping for staples the less choice the less time, so if having a choice for canned corn means whole kernel or creamed I'm all for it.

This particular thrifty mart really cuts to the chase where will power is concerned, because as soon as you step foot in the store you're smack in the midst of the cookie, candy, salty snack and booze section, (yes all in one isle).  So after dodging a set of 5 year old twins with one very bewildered father waiting, (in oncoming cart traffic, was he trying to off himself?),  for the Mom to come inside and tell them what to do, where to go and and to be the bearer of tough love and I'm sure three dozen "No's" on that isle alone, I was ready to shop. My plan was to walk swiftly to the next isle as to not make eye contact with the temptations. My husbands plan however was to marvel over the German Chocolate selection, so after commandeering my cart from one of the 5 year olds  and  setting self limits to one bag of sweets and two bottles of cheap wine we were soon zipping through the isles.

I am a born shopper but grocery shopping packs its irritations for me.  First, there is my co-shopper, the one that blocks the entire isle with their cart then stands in front of the shelves for an eternity gazing at the applesauce assortment like the choice between cinnamon or traditional holds the key to eternal happiness, (did I mention they were on their cell phone too), and then there is the repetitive packing.  Pack the cart with groceries, unpack them onto the conveyor belt, pack them back into the cart, pack them into bags, pack them to the car, pack them into the house and finally pack them into the pantry.   That's a lot of packs before the polk gets to the pantry! 

But atlas we were finally home and ready to start putting away.  My husband and I celebrated our 17th wedding Anniversary last April so we've been through a few grocery store drills.  His job is to help carry in the groceries, barricade the door from the cat's escape, make sure the trash can is ready for the recycled packaging that comes along with today's shopping and to stay out of the way. It's harsh I know and it begins back in the store where I insist that the groceries come out of the cart and onto the conveyor in a specific order and then bagged in a specific sequence so they can be easily identified as to fridge, freezer, pantry bag when they are unloaded.  Ah, to love me is to love my OCD! 

But finally we were to the part that makes it all worth it.   Now I know it should be sitting down to  a good wholesome meal around the table with my family (and that will come with time) but living in the moment the real WIN is in the organizing of the cupboards.  Favorite childhood memories of visiting the hardware store where every nut, bolt and washer had its place come flooding back as I strategically begin placing the cans proudly bearing their generic labels all front and center.  Rows organized by vegetable, fruit and legume begin to take form.  As I unload bag upon bag and watch my husbands bewilderment of "will it all fit" I strategically and skillfully complete my masterpiece.  With every last morsel packed away I can finally stand back and congratulate myself for a job well done.  But then as a I hear a voice from the living room asking whats for dinner my dreams are shattered.  And I think of  the stock boy who spends his night loading and facing the shelves to only be greeted by an early morning weather alert.  And my own empire is once again incomplete as I grab a can of Chicken Stock from the back of the pantry to begin dinner.

Oh my friends but this is the new me and I have my ears and eyes open in search of my own inner peace.  So, my lesson learned for this New Year ahead... life is a lot like the pantry.  It doesn't do you any good to keep it closed up and dark, instead make wise choices and keep it well stocked with variety and healthy choices.  Be creative with its ingredients.  Change and depletion and replenishment are all part of the process.  Remember that there will be some days you just have to stop, reorganize and take out the garbage.  And even though a small part of you may feel as if it is a waste to throw something out before it is fully consumed you will know in your heart when it is time to let it go for better things.  And always make time to share its contents with friends, family and even strangers for its mere ingredients are not its true treasure but the memories and nourishment it holds. 

This is KNOT going as planned

Number 48 on my new bucket list, "Learn to Crochet"....  Number 28, "Spend TIME Wisely", so like any good "resolutioner" on January 3rd I decided to be productive during a re-run of the Sopranos and take up crocheting.  I was well prepared.  I had purchased both a beginning knitting and beginning crocheting kit in early spring and put it away for a cold winters night.  After looking at the gadgets and clips in the the knitting kit I decided crocheting may be the safer place to start.  So with hook and yarn ball in hand I opened the illustrations.  First knot.  After turning the book around a few times I finally got it looped onto the hook then came the weaving the yarn around my fingers and pinching with my thumb and forefinger.  What in the world?  After several tries of looking at the hands in my illustrations I decided maybe I was more of a virtual learner. 

Never fear I grabbed my Kindle Fire and found a YouTube video for the VERY BEGINNING CROCHETER.  A natural looking gal in a crocheted vest in front of a wood rail fence welcomed me to the video, that must be where the keep the sheep for the wool I thought to myself.  Then impatience set in, "come on lady I don't have all day to learn to crochet, lets start knotting so I can whip out some crafty dog sweaters by Valentine's Day!" In her soft, slow voice she went on to explain the size hook I needed and the proper yarn weight to begin with, she even suggested a medium color.  "Crap" I thought mine is DARK red, but I consider myself an artistic soul so I should be fine with a more advanced color, right?  OK finally, to putting yarn and hook together on the video and close up shots of hands wrapping the medium weight, medium color 100% Acrylic yarn around her finger to make the beginning slip knot.  Oh, I thought so much easier watching it in 3 dimensions.  Then came the chain stitch OK wrapped around the fingers pinching the knot then over and under and WAIT,  HOW,  where do I push on this screen to pause this video?  And how do I do it while I'm attempting to crochet?

Needless to say after several starts and stops I finally made my first loop. (You have got to be kidding me!)  Now only 21 more she states and quickly chains a row.  So onward I go 19, 20, 21!  Awkward and all thumbs I had conquered the chain, I held it up proudly and discovered my row was not at all as consistent has hers but I mean she did look like she had been crocheting from birth. So, the next step go through the existing loop, over and under and then over two loops.  My aptitude with object perception has always scored off the charts, so I thought to myself AW HA I can see how this pot holder is going down.  But wait lady what if your loops are so tight you can't get the metal thingy..needle, no the hook, that's it the hook through the loop?  (Stop, Pause, Resume)  With my will power giving me a pep talk and with one quick discouraging pull my 21 chain was back to a lonely yarn strand and I was ready to try again and again and again.  On try FIVE my cat jumped in my lap batted the yarn ball to the floor and the clock chimed 10 and I saw a brief glimpse of my pride as it went up the chimney. 

I'd like to tell you my dog is well on his way to being highly fashioned in warm sweaters for the winter and I'd be setting up an Etsy account for the overflow. I would like to even say I have a new sad looking pot holder to hide in the the kitchen drawer... but as of today I have a ball of 100% Acrylic Dark Red Yarn with a hook sitting in a basket and a NEW respect for that awful plastic doll with the bright green & white crocheted hat and dress that hid my Grandmother's extra roll of toilet paper.  BUT it's January so I won't give up.  There will be plenty more cold winter's nights to give it a try and maybe, just maybe when I have conquered that hot pad I can move on to bigger things.

The page perfect me

Several years ago I sat down and wrote the following items I have kept  year after year in my day planner.  I revisit them either by purpose or chance frequently but especially at the beginning of each new year to check and see if I am on track or if I need to change the tracks.  I wish I could say I live them all daily, but I don't.  Sometimes not even close.  However, they are reminders of the person I want to be  and I'm working on it day by day!

My Motto:  Life without passion is simply existence.

My Mission:  (the short version) Be exceptional!  Today is a gift.  Live for tomorrow by promoting creativity, passion and purpose in yourself and others.

(the long version) Be true to yourself; love openly; give freely; live each day with joy and enthusiasm.  Awaken each morning with greatness and purpose promoting thought, creativity, and excellence in yourself and others so that you may leave a legacy of hope and compassion in the hearts and minds of those you meet along life's journey.

And finally 15 simple questions I try to ask myself at the end of each day.

Did you Today...

• Give thanks to God?
• Give praise to your family, friends and colleagues?
• Live healthier?
• Drink water?
• Spend money or save money?
• Learn something new?
• Be friendly and talkative to people?
• Accomplish things productively?
• Listen?
• Solve Problems or create them?
• Face problems & change with optimism & openness?
• Smile?
• Laugh?
• Love?
• Succeed in fulfilling your goals?